Everything is cool right now. I'm stressed about school, but content. Things are better than they have been in a while. I'm grounded for the weekend for skipping class (I normally don't get punished for that) I really wanted to go out this weekend too
I have lost all faith in the female gender(which is my gender so dont get pissy with me) . ESPECIALLY teachers. God they are snitches. I am not unhappy though. Christmas is soon, I get to go to my old town for a bit. I kinda cant call it home anymore. This is my home now. Granted I'm leaving for school soon but still. its been almost two years here in China. I've settled in and made friends with new people, I've been to amazing places. Its not where I born, its not where I grew up (mostly) but it's my home none the less. My old town cant be my home anymore because I've changed, the people there have changed and I think it would be impossible for me to catch up completely with everyone leaving for colleges and jobs so soon. It's not just that we've all changed or aged beyond recognition, its that my life is so very separate from theirs now, I don't know how people in the days before social media did it. Or maybe I do know, letters despite their slowness are a one handed account of recent happenings and questions plus maybe some replies to said questions. Skype requires both parties to have a constant informal conversation which carries poorly with large news. Also the people who I'm cool with here in China, they "get it". They understand my frustration of prices, the lack of decent bread and chocolate at times. The lack of most packaged foods. they live here, it's like we're in a semi-friendly hostage situation and we all have Stockholm syndrome to a degree. I think I'm going to feel this emptiness for a while, try to feel sad, sadness is a good thing. My home is here but its going to be gone soon, but my home is elsewhere, but everyone will leave soon. I think everyone feels like this before college.